All Daughters Are Awesome Everywhere by DeMisty D. Bellinger

Author:DeMisty D. Bellinger [Bellinger, DeMisty D.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FIC068000 FICTION / LGBTQ+ / General, FIC019000 FICTION / Literary
Publisher: Nebraska

Free Fish

We sampled the sushi though it was suspect. What did white people know about sushi? “What white people don’t know?” Adam asked.

“They know every fucking thing if you give them a minute,” I said.

“We’ll feel this later. We’ll have sour stomachs, and we’ll retrace everything we ate.”

“Then one of us would remember the white people sushi.” We were aware that the vendors could hear us, but we didn’t care. They pretended that they couldn’t hear us. We bought two fish. I don’t even remember what kind. And we bought fresh sea salt in a clay pot. Adam asked, “Can salt really be fresh?” and the vendors gave him an answer that I can’t remember.

Halfway through our excursion at the farmers market, we realized that there was so much fish and seafood because we were on the coast, in the Cape. “It makes perfect sense,” Adam said. “Why didn’t that dawn on us before?”

I didn’t answer. We walked around and bought last fall’s apples and New England donuts. Then we took our packages of fish, apples, and donuts and sat on one of the many piers on the bay. We ate apples after rubbing them on our shirts. Then we ate donuts. “We can’t take fish back to the hotel room,” I said.

“Maybe they’ll fry it up for us.”

“Who? This ain’t the Caribbean.”

Adam shrugged. “Should we set them free?”

“Free? Adam, honey, these fish have been dead for a long time.”

“How long?” He took the fish and unwrapped them carefully. The creature on his lap lay lifeless. Its opened, unseeing eye stared out. The other eye lay against Adam’s leg. A whole life in profile. “You want to touch them?”

“I’ve touched fish before.”

I watched as Adam rubbed a finger the wrong way across one of the fish’s scales. “I don’t know fuck one about fish.”

“Me neither,” I said. “Why don’t we set them free.”

“When do you think they were caught?”

I shrugged. “Adam, I want to kiss you.”

Adam shook his head no. We were in an uncomfortable spot. I made it that way. But we had tickets to Massachusetts and plans, so we kept them. “I’m still in love with you,” I said.

He dumped the fish in the ocean without ceremony and without another word. I was tired of apologizing, so I didn’t. We watched the fish float on the little ripple waves there on the coast. And later we’ll watch horrible television that is mostly flipping through channels, not knowing the schedule in a strange town. We will each sleep awkwardly on separate hotel beds. And tomorrow? What will we do tomorrow?

The fish floated a little farther away from us. Their glassy eyes looked upward at everything. Their silver-scaled bodies reflecting the sun just like the waters around them.

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